4:13 am - Paddy is crying hysterically, so I feed him a bottle.
4:33 am - Put Paddy back to bed.
5:57 am - Paddy is crying hysterically, so I feed him a bottle.
6:12 am - Bring Paddy back to my bed in hopes he and I can get some more sleep.
6:30 am - Due to excessive humping of Pat's pillow and repeatedly knocking on the window, Paddy successfully convinces me to just get the fuck out of bed.
6:32 am - Paddy pulls the Christmas tree down on top of himself. I pick him up and realize he stinks.
6:33 am - Go to change him and realize (after putting my hand in his pajamas) that he took a massive shit. Everywhere. NOT just in his diaper. I shout " Please God, no!!."
6:33 - 7:15 am - Project "Rid My House of Poo" commences. This includes a bath for Paddy, a shower for me, a load of laundry in the washer, taking out a bag of dirty diapers, and Paddy pulling down the Christmas tree on top of him again.
7:16 am - I put on a pot of coffee. Something tells me I should make it extra strong today.
7:17 am - Come back in the living room to find the tree down again and Paddy humping the angel that used to be on top of the tree.
It is currently 7:36 am. I wish I had some whiskey to put in my coffee.
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