BITING one year old for sale!

Well it's been another couple of months since I posted, so here's another one. Patman turned 1, got some teeth, and ladies and gentelmen... even some HAIR!!

  We had Paddy's first birthday party about two days before his actual birthday party. Of course, it was Star Wars themed, complete with his Yoda costume. Even Pat and I donned our Star Wars shirts and our friends Peter came as a storm trooper and Kate as a jedi. I made a sweet Death Star cake (well, I made two. Made the first one the night before and woke up the morning of the party and it had literally fallen apart. Did I mention this was my first time baking... ever?) So the day of the party, I made another one. I thought it looked like the Death Star, everyone else may have thought it looked like a grey blob. Whatevs, it was awesome anyways! It was complete with a Darth Vader holding a candle/lightsaber. Everyone else had cupcakes that had lightsaber cake toppings on them.

The nerdiest family in town

Death Star-ish cake!

Patman!

  All in all, it was a great party! All the O'Cs and O'Ds (with exception of JP) were there. He got some pretty sweet presents including a custom made batman cape that said "Patman" on the back of it from my sister. Friggen sweet present considering Katie didn't even know I had planned on dressing Paddy up as batman for Halloween and calling him Patman! (As dad would say, "we must be psycho or something!") So I won't get into what happened after the kiddies left and Paddy went to bed. Let's just say we were hungover for about 3 days after the party.

  Paddy got two teeth at about 8 months old. Then nothing for a couple of months till he got FIVE at once. Now he wont. stop. biting. me. And only me. I feel like I'm literally afraid of him sometimes when he gets in his biting moods. He's given me bruises because he bites so hard! I will be very very VERY happy when this phase is over with.      Jerk.

Uncle Leo! Hello!

Hello! Holy shit balls has it been a long time since I wrote on here. Life has been a fucking blur lately. To break it down, January was a goddamn drunken mess because my brother JP was in town for about 2 weeks straight. Obviously I'd be a horrible sister if I didn't drink with him 5 or 6 nights out of the week. February was decent, Valentines Day came with an exchange of farting/beer drinking cards between Pat and me. Then March arrived and I feel like I haven't even sat down in weeks. Pat and I got married on St. Patricks Day! It was an awesome amazing and wonderful day for the both of us. Even Pat had fun! And Pat never has fun at weddings! We got a babysitter for little Paddy so Pat and I could 'ahem' enjoy ourselves that night :) All in all, it was the perfect wedding night, lots of drinking, dancing, and partying with our loved ones.

  On the Paddy front, dude has been walking for about a month now. I use the term 'walking' very lightly though because he hates it. He can do it, he just would rather crawl than take the time of day to take a step. Which is fine with me. Like I said, the sooner he's walking, the sooner he's in my shit. He currently has no hair to speak of. Poor guy is Baldy McBalderson still, and it looks like it won't be changing any time soon. He's getting so big though! He could probably crawl out of his crib if he put his mind to it. He just got rid of his bottle and is on all solids. Tonight I cut the feet off of his pajamas because though his body fits into his pjs, his feet are too big for them. Looks kinda like a hilbilly right now. Which in turn gave me a good 5 minutes of laughter.

  In a month he'll be 1! I can't believe it. Since the wedding is over, I've been focusing on planning the best Star Wars birthday party the world has ever seen... meaning, I made a pretty sweet banner. I'll post pictures after the party. Hopefully I'll post before then!

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals

Merry Christmas!!!!! Well we just had Paddy's first Christmas in the UP of Michigan and I must say... It. Was. Amazing. I had so much fun hanging out and drinking with my family for the holidays. I gave them all their homemade Christmas presents early so everyone had a Monster Mash Christmas on Christmas Eve. Oh my god, it was so much fucking fun. Because this winter has unseasonably warm so far, we couldn't go snomobiling at all or skiing for that long. So one keg and several cases of beer later, we partied! And holy shit do the O'Ds know how to fucking party. I will never forget this trip or how much fun I had on it.

A Monster Mash Christmas!

  Patman had his first Christmas!! Absolutely loved it. Due to the excessive amounts of toys he already has, I had made him a dinosaur hoodie and a Batman blanket. He loved both. But what I was really excited about was giving Pat another Xbox after his first one got ruined in the flood. I and the rest of my family gave him a Star Wars Xbox and Paddy had gotten him a game for it. He was so excited about them, I think it made me more happy than the presents I received. Dude works so hard every day for Paddy and I, it makes me so happy to give him something he really wants. I fucking love that man :)

   Well, on that note, I better sign off. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. And a Happy New Year!

On His 22nd Birthday

Pat and I have a bet going. Pat bet Paddy will be '6"8 or over and I bet he"ll be '6"7 or shorter by his 22nd birthday.

There is $20 riding on this, son. Please make me proud.

My Morning So Far

4:13 am - Paddy is crying hysterically, so I feed him a bottle.

4:33 am - Put Paddy back to bed.

5:57 am - Paddy is crying hysterically, so I feed him a bottle.

6:12 am - Bring Paddy back to my bed in hopes he and I can get some more sleep.

6:30 am - Due to excessive humping of Pat's pillow and repeatedly knocking on the window, Paddy successfully convinces me to just get the fuck out of bed.

6:32 am - Paddy pulls the Christmas tree down on top of himself. I pick him up and realize he stinks.

6:33 am - Go to change him and realize (after putting my hand in his pajamas)  that he took a massive shit. Everywhere. NOT just in his diaper. I shout " Please God, no!!."

6:33 - 7:15 am - Project "Rid My House of Poo" commences. This includes a bath for Paddy, a shower for me, a load of laundry in the washer, taking out a bag of dirty diapers, and Paddy pulling down the Christmas tree on top of him again.

7:16 am - I put on a pot of coffee. Something tells me I should make it extra strong today.

7:17 am - Come back in the living room to find the tree down again and Paddy humping the angel that used to be on top of the tree.

It is currently 7:36 am. I wish I had some whiskey to put in my coffee.

Crawling

   Well, Paddy McGee is crawling. I was pretty proud of him crawling at first since he was only 6 months old. It lasted about 5 minutes. Dude is into everything! He's oddly facinated with the DVR, so that's usually the first place he'll go when I put him on the floor. That is, unless he's distracted by anything with a cord. Or just generally anything expensive. Pat's been trying to encourage him walking now too. Something I most definitely am not. Paddy can learn to walk on his own, the sooner he walks, the sooner he gets into my shit. The sooner he gets into my shit, the sooner I call my baby an asshole again. And I really don't want to call Paddy an asshole. So crawling it is!

   I finally went to get my hair cut and dyed last week. I realized the fat-midwestern-housewife look wasn't really working for me. The last time I went to the salon was before Paddy was born. So I had roots from over SEVEN months ago! Holy sheep shit, it looked terrible. Since my hair is usually in a knot on the top of my head, I guess I just didn't realize how bad it was getting. But now, I have beautiful, luxurious, and (completely) blonde hair. Yay me!

My Little Humper

  My little guy is on the verge of crawling. I have learned that this stage of pre-crawling is simply and utterly... fantastic. Paddy has taken to getting up on all fours and just rocking back and forth. If you can picture that, then you know what it looks like... Paddy is a humper! Dude has been humping all over the place for the past week! One strategically place stuffed animal equals five minutes of straight laughter from me. Even standing up, he humps! He humped the ottoman, diaper bag, and couch yesterday alone. The man is relentless. I spend my days thinking of different things I can either put him on or stand him against to hump. My favorites? Jar of peanut butter, Elmo, and Pat's pillow. The possibilities are endless.

   My future mother-in-law just dropped off a Bears winter hat from the 1980s for Paddy. It. Is. Amazing. Paddy wore it the entire time we watched the Bears fucking KILL the Chargers today. I've been telling people that the Bears won the Super Bowl the year I was born, it is only natural that the Bears win again the year I have an offspring. So with the Bears offense, defense and Paddy's new lucky hat... SUPER BOWL BABY!!!

   Pat and I had a good ole fashioned drink-till-you-shit-the-bed night yesterday (there was no shitting the bed though, just super stinking drunk.) It all started with an innocent visit to Buffalo Wild Wings for breakfast. Three tall Blue Moons later, Pat is driving home while I convince him of all of the good reasons why we should keep drinking (by 'good reasons' I mean discussing how delicious beer is). Well since I remembered I have a child to care for, drinking slowed down considerably. But as soon as Wee Paddy hit the sheets, I hit the bottle (I'm clever!). Pat and I got friggen wrecked. It was amazing, just like old times. Since having a kid, we've aged considerably but last night we listened to music, high-fived a lot, talked, watched 30 Rock, boned (sorry mom!), and then drank some more! Luckily we have a kid that likes to sleep 13+ hours in a night and allowed me some time to recover before waking up to hump everything in sight. All in all a terrible morning, but an super duper night.

Happy Thanksgiving!