5 Things that Should Not Be Said to a 6 Month Old

1. "Shut the fuck up"
   -Yep, totally said this one today. In fairness, Paddy has learned how to 'moan' whenever I put him down. By 'moan' I mean a CONSTANT whine while staring at me with his hands up so I pick him up. This has led me to go certifiably crazy. I feel like I can hear this whining in my sleep. I'm trying the tough love approach and not picking him up so he learns a bit of independence, but so far this is not working. At all. So today I actually told him to please "shut the fuck up." At least I said please.

2. "Wow! You haven't spit up in two days!"
   -He then immediately spit up.

3. "Quit playing with your dingy"
   -Paddy has a habit of sitting in his play thing and putting both his hands in front of him down into the seat. Seriously looks like he's doing a little jingle in his jangle, if you know what I mean. So obviously I see this as a perfect opportunity for a Tommy Boy reference.

4. "Don't eat that"
   -He WILL eat it. Every. Single. Time.

5. "Asshole"
   -No, I am not proud of this one. But what would you say if your baby pooped into your hands while changing his diaper TWO days in a row. Why is the second the diaper is off, the perfect time to take a shit? And what would you say to your baby when it sneezes in your face? AND WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO YOUR BABY IF HE ATE YOUR KOHLS COUPON??? HUH? Don't judge me.



Happy Friday, everyone!